Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops