Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops