What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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Well this is pointless.....

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops