A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Poop.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Why are women always wrong? Well, depending on the factors of IQ of said women, location and date, said time period of always can be deemed in every circumstance as incorrect to say the least, and derogatory. These days said derogatory actions are punishable by law.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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