Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Cripples are lame.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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