So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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