Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Denard Robinson

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops