Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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