A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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