A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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