A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops