Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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