Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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hi penis ham telephone

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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