'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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I? Everett

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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