Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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