Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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