This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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