Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops