whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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bite me

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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