if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what's up? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops