Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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