Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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