A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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