Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

pobody's nerfect

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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