What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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