Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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