While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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