Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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