time to spruce up!

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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hi

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops