What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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