Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops