Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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