Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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