- Anti Joke

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Justin Bieber

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right (common knowledge)? That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that changes all of his CNA (Cheerio DNA) into whichever type of cheerio that he wants. However, this machine performs a process that is extraordinarily painful, because that sort of thing would hurt. Anyway. He does it, and the normal flavored cheerio becomes a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, this girl cheerio hates him so much that she invents an identical machine and does the process on herself in order to become a cinnamon-apple cheerio, just so she can avoid this creeper. So, she does it. The boy cheerio is starting to get upset at this because he really wants her. So he tells himself that he will go through the pain for her, and becomes a cinnamon-apple cheerio. She then changes to a honey-nut cheerio! He decides that this is the last time that he will change cheerio type. He does it, and she changes one more time, into a normal cheerio - the kind he originally was. So he says out loud, "Okay, this is really the last time. If she changes again, I will just stay back with my family." So he becomes a normal cheerio again, and she doesn't change fast enough for him to put his moves on her. So, they start dating, and he finally asks her to the Formal Bowl (ahaha, get it, bowl instead of ball). Anyway, they get there and dance intensely for a few hours. They do all different kinds of dances. They do the tango, which was not very good. Also, they square dance, like rednecks. Finally, they get tired and she sends the boy cheerio to the milk bowl (you know, since it's a cereal dance, they have that and punch). He gets there and stands in line for ten minutes. Finally fed up at the really long line, he looks over at the bowl of punch and realizes there is no punch line.

ur gey

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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