Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

Female Orgasms

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

say it ten times fast: oh

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

You dropped something.... Yo lip

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...