Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Gustavo Andrade

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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