You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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