- Anti Joke

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

I have an idea! You leave.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant