What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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i'm hard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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