Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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