How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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