How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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Matthew Baker

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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