What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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