Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

whats green and lives in the water

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

A house comes around the corner.

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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