Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Hello.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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