How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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