What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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Justin Bieber

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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