Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops