I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What are annoying? Ads.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops