Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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What does water smell like? water.

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Eric is gay Ha

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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