Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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civil rights

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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