Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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