Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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pobody's nerfect

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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9/11 my birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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