How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops