What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Suck pussy

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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