What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops