Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

Women can vote? WTF

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

Baby Seal walks into a club.

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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