wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops