Happy Monday!

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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silver bullet?

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops