"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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42

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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