Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...