Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i dont care if you rate me or not

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

thumb_up thumb_down -24

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

like this or you will die at some point in your life

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops