Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +3

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops