So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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