Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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