What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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