why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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