so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops