Weaner

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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civil rights

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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