What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Andoni was here

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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