Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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