What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

What's funny? Nick Sotelo

A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

Nobody cares maddie!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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