Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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sadf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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