What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

Andoni was here

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...