Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops