I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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