What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Denard Robinson

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops