Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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Roses are flowers.

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Take part of what?

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Oh, go away

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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