What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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