Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops