How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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hi

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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