How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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13 =B you just learned something

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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