you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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