- Anti Joke

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Andoni was here

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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