Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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