What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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