Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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i found waldo.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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