A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +2

chinga tue madre Ryan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops