Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Knock Knock.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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