there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Death by kayak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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