Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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roses are red poo is poo

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops