Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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