Im taking a shit right now.

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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