How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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