How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops