A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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