A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Albino African Americans

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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