Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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