What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Yes

Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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