Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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