Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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