Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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