"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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A woman walks into a bar.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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