What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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