Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Dyslexia ruels!

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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bite me

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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