Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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