Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops