How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

I? Everett

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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