Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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