Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i saw amango it splootered

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops