Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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