Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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