Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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