Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

thumb_up thumb_down -8

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops