So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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