Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops