How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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