yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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