What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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