A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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