How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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