Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

I C U P White stuff

Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

Dyslexia ruels!

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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