My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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roses are red poo is poo

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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