How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

I agree to the terms and conditions

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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