Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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