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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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