How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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