How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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