What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

thumb_up thumb_down -6

autistic kids rock

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops