Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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