Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops