One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Peas

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops