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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops