Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops