Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Cancer

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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