Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I am a mime

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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