The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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