What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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The Labour Party.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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