A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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9/11

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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