"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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knock knock come in

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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