What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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