Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops