A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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