My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Yes

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops