Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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He--Hey guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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