"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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My cat just died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops