A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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