How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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