A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops