Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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