Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops