What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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