You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops