How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Yes

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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