Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

I'm homeless.

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Grace Ackerson

Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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