Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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