Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

What's just not right? Left

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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