My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops