Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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69

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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