mmm i love marble bumhole

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Tim likes girls

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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