How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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He--Hey guys

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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