What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Poker face

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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