Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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