A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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