Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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A man walked into a bar owch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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