what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

thumb_up thumb_down +4

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops