Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops