"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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I have a horse.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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