Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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